They keep talking, louder now, I am trying to reach out to metaphysical sources to find out what they want but I cannot get a bite, I tried twitter thinking a demonologist could help me, they will not return any of my messages, so I have launched into the study myself, starting with Alester Crowley (probably spelled that wrong) and some stuff about the warrens that seems to be the best place to start, I picked up a copy of the book of laws, i have a copy of the keys of Solomon, and I have a copy of The Demonologist about the warrens, so when I am through those i may have a better idea of where to go next, i just wonder how long there will be an I to talk about, I have been able up to now to fend off the requests in my head, I know the medication is helping me be strong I just wonder what happens when the meds run out and i cant afford more.

paranoid

my np just gaveme a new "medication" to help with my back pain but i know it is a placebo, i dont feel any better, i have been taking it as she prescribed and nothing. i dont think she trusts me anymore.

Run, run, run, RUN!!!!! I keep hearing that there is something to run from? What could it be? I look around my house to see what is happening, I look at twitter and the news, nothing to really run from.

Yesterday, I was walking up the driveway, the large tree in my back yard was casting a shadow on the parking lot, my eyes saw it pouring rain under the tree! everywhere else was dry and sunny but where the shadow was it was pouring rain as hard as it could I couldn't even see the car parked on the other side of the tree through the rain, I walked through it, I was dry on the other end.

I find myself looking for the things that run around my house that I just get a glimpse of. I would love to see one of them someday, I know they are not real but it would still be nice to get to see them.

Hello Welcome to My Head...Sorry

I have worked hard on finding a blog that is "easy" to write.  I have always found telling my story is easiest for me, so what is to follow will be a journal, of sorts, I suffer with depression and anxiety so needless to say I have words in my head that are hard not to listen to.  I thought it would be interesting to keep a list, narrative, or just a brief word or two and see what it looks like, I also like to tell stories from time to time and I have a thing for religions so I like to write about demons angels and alternate gods. So there may be some of that here but mostly what I hear and remember through the day.  Sometimes just feelings, or stresses.  I hope this helps not only me but others that can see that this stuff happens.  Hope this finds you well.